4:25am - 5:15am

... i sat, wordless, in his kitchen, on a stool that was too tall for me to be comfortable. there weren't any lights on in the house, just filtered sunlight through the windows casting gloomy shadows and glare around the room. he was talking too fast for me to really understand what he was saying, but i'm not sure i was actually listening. i was in too much shock - seeing him again after so many years of wondering if he was "alive". he was in fact alive, and well - or so it seemed. he was married, proven by the large photo over the entry table - a recent wedding picture. the girl was pretty and he was clean shaven and dressed handsomely. he was walking around digging in drawers, trying to find something. the rambling of his voice - sounded unnatural. i sat, wordless. he finally found a small yellow envelope that was bent on all four corners. it had my name scribbled on the front - he pushed it into my hand. it was a thick envelope and too heavy for it's size. he mentioned something about reading it before i threw it away. i wasn't breathing. i cut my finger trying to open it. words ran down page after page - the top was dated january 2008. that is when he tried to find me...



dreams are amazing. they have details that relate to nothing and everything.

i needed closure. but i woke up angry.