Friday, September 19, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
To become something i never dreamed of being...
i've pretty much been "winging" it since the day of my college graduation.
taking one day at a time.
taking one challenge at a time.
taking one goal at a time.
taking one success at a time.
taking one setback at a time.
...today I found out that someone close to me recently lost the love of their life... not through death, but through a choice made. it breaks my heart to think about what i would have done/who i would be today if i had to go through that a year ago, just months before my wedding day. needless to say i would be a different person...
choices... i make dozens of them every day. but i also realize that i do not have full control of everything in my life. i can do certain things to prepare myself for anticipated happenings and even prepare myself to accept certain emergencies. but i do not have a crystal ball.
i've heard that you really shouldn't talk about work within an online blog... because things online have a way of getting back to the persons that make decisions about your job security. so i won't talk about work, except to say - it's hard. it's not what i expected. i have a difficult time concentrating at times. i know that i am one of the best. i know i am one of the most talented. i wish i trusted more people. i miss laughing during the day. i am proud of what i have accomplished. i want to live closer to work.
i definitely did not want to live in a subdivision after college - thought living downtown would be more my speed. not going to happen. not in this city. so living wwwwwwaaaaaaaayyyy out - and on a street that is not part of a subdivision - is home. it fits. right now. but what about if there are children born? that upstairs bedroom is pretty much filled with junk, no room for a kid. i should fix that. organize. file. trash. donate. sell. i've heard that when pregnant, women do this thing called "nesting" - maybe i'll organize.file.trash.donate.sell. while i nest? ha.
watching stupid tv. i'm catching up on all the tv i missed during high school and college, when i actually had a life.
done.
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